Looking Back
by Chettex
Summary: This story is in Cho's point of view during her 5th year at Hogwarts ( or TriWizard Tournament ) C/C basically.


Title: Looking Back..  
Author: Rachette  
Rating: PG  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Hey well, I hope you like this ;D It's basically during the TriWizard Tournament, in Cho's point of view, of course. I don't understand why many people hate her, but I certainly don't. I hope this fanfic changes your mind, if you're a Cho-hater. I'm not fond of Cho depression fics, but it seems like this is one. IT ISN'T. It's only the first chapter, just note that. Anyway, this is basically full of romance and a bit of drama so.. just read on and please review.. I don't appreciate flames that much. I'll laugh at them if you flame me though ;D Who knows, I need a good laugh.. If you have suggestions to the story, don't be afraid to tell me! Thankss.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
I own nothing except Nicole. Everything else belongs to dearest JKR. Yes, Praise her ^___^;;  
  
:: :: ::  
  
Cho never wanted to return to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry ever again. She refused to. It was just too much for the girl. The pain.. she couldn't take it anymore. The thought of him hurt her so incredibly much. Cho tried to get him out of her head, but failed terribly. She loved him.  
  
She looked around blankly, glad there were actually students and staff around her who felt just as gloomy. Cho found herself staring deeply at other girls crying. Though, they did not feel as much pain as Cho.  
  
The previous night, Cho cried until there were no more tears left. The little drops made her cheeks glisten, but she knew that these tears were full of confusion and pain. She didn't feel like crying at the feast. Cho didn't want her depression to get the best of her. Who knows what would occur.  
  
Cho felt someone tap on her left shoulder lightly. It was her best friend, Lisa Turpin, who looked at her curiously. The plan was not for everyone to feel sorry for her.   
  
"I'm really sorry, Cho.." Lisa said softly. Cho gave her no response, "Please talk to me.. Are you okay?" She nodded a little, not making eye contact. There was no need.   
  
'She should know I'm not okay.. Of course I'm not,' Cho thought. The question is how will she be able to move on? Her life was torn apart, but who would be the one to pull it back together? The answer was clearly herself.  
  
She looked up slowly from the Ravenclaw table, trying to keep her face straight. 'Don't break down.. please don't break down,' she knew she was going to very soon. There was no way she'd go through the whole day without a single tear. Absolutely no way possible.   
  
The silence in the Great Hall was very odd. She noticed everyone was looking at the staff table, so she turned her head slightly to the right. No wonder it was so quiet. Professor Dumbledore was standing before the students. 'Oh no.. please, not a speech..' Alas, to Cho's luck, it was a speech. The end of the year speech rather.  
  
"The end.. of another year," he said slowly. Cho didn't want the year to be ending. Not right now anyway. She knew she wouldn't be looking forward to the summer vacation as much as the past years. Lisa turned to face her, and frowned.  
  
"There is much that I would like to say to you all tonight, but I must first acknowledge the loss of a very fine person, who should be sitting here," Cho turned her head some more, to take a glimpse at the Hufflepuff table, "enjoying our feast with us. I would like you all, please, to stand, and raise your glasses, to Cedric Diggory." This is when the tears started rolling down her cheeks.   
  
Cho stood up and raised her goblet, knowing she looked pathetic. While looking at the floor she mumbled, "Cedric Diggory," with the rest of the school, not so loud that she would choke. Cho took her seat and placed her head in her hands, crying silently. No one dared to bother her, or tell her everything was going to be okay. She felt like such a loser, but how could she not cry when a piece of her was gone forever?  
  
The rest of Dumbledore's talk seemed impossible not to take in and think about. All of the students, not to mention staff, gave the Headmaster as much respect as possible. They listened to his every word, as if there was extremely important information he was about to give them. Cho didn't understand completely.. Why was she the only one who didn't want to hear this?  
  
:: :: ::  
  
Cho kicked her feet, sitting on her now old four-poster bed. Her belongings were packed neatly and sitting in a large brown trunk a few feet away from the door. She didn't want to go back home. Hogwarts was the only place she wanted to be right now, even though the word 'unsafe' had popped up into her head a couple of times.  
  
Lisa then stuck her head between the door, "Hey Cho, you going to hurry up? They're loading the carriages now.." Cho stared at her for a second, then stepped down to the floor.  
  
She opened her mouth to speak, but words just couldn't come out. She wanted to know if there was anyone else who wanted to stay. A summer term at Hogwarts would be just perfect.  
  
Lisa watched her as she bended down and dragged her trunk outside. She looked back inside the dorm before Lisa closed the door, and sighed. There would be many things she would miss about her old dorm. It just happened to be a very eventful place..  
  
She turned her head and heard a few slams. There were more girls walking out of their dorms, pulling trunks behind them. Once again, she could not believe it. They were actually ending another year.   
  
Cho and Lisa were walking side by side, both heading down to the entrance, as all the students. They made it silently to the crowd that was pushing and shoving their way outside of the castle. Everyone seemed to want to get out of here, and get back to their families.  
  
Families.. That's what made Cho shudder. She didn't want to tell her parents anything about him. They would see her face and know something had happened. 'Bugger.. Oh.. well. I have time to think about this on the train..' she thought. It was hard talking about something like this. She knew if she said his name, even once, then tears would be flowing down her cheeks in a matter of seconds.  
  
The two friends finally got out of Hogwarts, unfortunately. They walked across the lawn to a big red carriage. Cho took her trunk, and with the help of Lisa, she pushed it over and into it. She then stepped up and slid to the side, to help Lisa with hers. She also got in, and the carriage started moving towards the path to Hogsmeade.   
  
Lisa then spoke with a smile, "You know, Cho, you just HAVE to owl me over the summer. I'm going to be stuck with my four year old cousin half the time, and you know how spoiled she can get.."  
  
This made Cho laugh, which was a first. She was glad that she didn't have any siblings to take care of or watch over, but it did seem to get lonely at times. "Why is she staying over anyway?" Cho asked quietly. This was the first time she had actually spoke all day, plus most of yesterday.  
  
"Oh well, her parents died.. Long time ago actually. She really wasn't given a permanent home until now, so she's staying with us."  
  
"Ohh.." Cho felt like slapping Lisa. She didn't want to hear anything about death, or the word in general. Lisa looked at her oddly, then sighed realizing what she'd just said.  
  
"I'm uh - sorry for mentioning that," Lisa said softly. Cho nodded as if it was okay, and looked to the left of her. They were now at the beginning of Hogsmeade. Hogsmeade Station would come into view any second now.  
  
Cho was curious to see who was riding behind her so she turned herself enough that she could fully see the person. It was Harry Potter. He looked up, and their eyes met. His face was pale and his eyes didn't seem to have the green glow in them. She quickly turned herself around and bit her lip.  
  
She wondered how Cedric was doing in the maze, and what his last moments were like. Of course only Harry knew, and you-know-who probably. Cho didn't think asking Harry would be a good idea. It seemed stupid and Harry looked well, he looked as if he was feeling as bad as Cho herself.  
  
The carriages all came to a stop in front of one another. Lisa got out first, followed by Cho. They took their packed trunks and headed up to get onto the Hogwarts Express and back to Kings Cross. Cho hoped that this ride would go as slow as possible. It sounded like going slow and taking one thing at a time was better for her now. Her life was rushed and completely unorganized during the past year.  
  
At last, the two girls got into an empty compartment on the train. Mandy Brocklehurst and Nicole Ackerley stopped before them.  
  
"Hey Lisa," Nicole started, and she turned her head to Cho, seeming as if she just noticed her, "and you. Can we join you girls?"  
  
Cho stared at her with fury in her eyes while Lisa grinned and said, "Oh of COURSE Nicole, go ahead!" Cho rolled her eyes. Nicole was a year older than Lisa, but the same year as Cho. Lisa called Nicole her 'role model'. Who had to be the jealous one here? Cho. As much as she hated Nicole, she tried not to show it. Cho knew she wouldn't do anything of the sort, it would ruin her title of being the sweet girl.  
  
She watched as Mandy and Nicole sat down. You could see Lisa's eyes were wide, as Nicole had sat next to her. Mandy, who was a year younger, sat down beside Cho.   
  
Cho liked Mandy very much better than Nicole. Mandy was like a house elf to Nicole, though she did not admit it. It was how Mandy followed Nicole around everywhere that bothered Cho. 'Does she really need a personal slave?' Cho asked herself. The poor girl didn't understand that Nicole was using her.  
  
The idea of listening to Mandy, Nicole, and Lisa talk was out of the question. All they ever did was talk about how 'talented' Nicole was.   
  
'How completely idiotic,' Cho tried to loose concentration on their conversations so she looked out the small window at the passing summer green trees. The warm air from the opened window was blowing through her hair, which she thought had a relaxing effect on her.   
  
Ignoring the other three girls in the compartment was working for Cho. Well, it was working until Lisa opened her mouth and said something rude, that Cho would think she would have never said in her life.  
  
"I bet you that Cho could never catch the snitch in under ten seconds like you, Nicole."  
  
Cho eyed Lisa. What was she getting at? "Bull, she could never do that," Cho blurted out. Well it wasn't like she didn't want to say that.  
  
"Bugger off, Chang. You should be proud of me," Nicole looked at her. Her eyes glimmered with almost hatred. Oh how Cho couldn't stand the look in her eyes, and the dark expression on her face.  
  
"I'd like to see you try and catch the snitch in under TEN seconds, Nicole," and with that, Cho got up and walked down the train to find an empty compartment. Sure enough, she found one and sat down with a sigh.  
  
It was bad enough Cho had to be pissed off and depressed at the same time, but with lies like that, Cho couldn't help herself.  
  
"Proud my arse," she said to herself. Cho then turned to this new compartment's window and looked out. She watched the outside of the train with much content, as it was the only thing that she could do until they got to Kings Cross. Cho peered out the window for a long time, enough to make her want to fall asleep.  
  
And that's exactly what she did.  
  
:: :: :: 


End file.
